Honest news from serving soldiers. Whilst all reports, sources and articles are thoroughly checked prior to publishing, sometimes, to protect sources we may redact certain details or names.
10 Aug 20 Andover: A panicky order is speeding it's way throughout British Armed Forces this morning about an unexpected COVID19 transmission pathway, and it has caught local commanders out, forcing an embarrassing last minute change by Top Brass. Recent military direction, which at the time caused much amusement to soldiers and officers alike was to stop shaking hands and instead touch elbows.
However new research by renowned reserve soldier, Captain Thomer M Gil of the British Royal Signals Regiment and Swedish military epidemiologist Colonel Herbert Schlangemann has been used to show the unexpected danger of this form of greeting. We here at Combat Boot undertook our own study and the results back from the virology lab confirm the work of Captain Gil and Colonel Schlangemann and their seemingly obvious work on networking risks.
Embarrassingly it turns out official advice, both rapidly spreads the disease and makes soldiers look stupid touching elbows instead of shaking hands or saluting. A bemused UK MOD spokesperson was unable to confirm the new order but did refer us to the manual of military law on salutes and other forms of compliments.
Our research results from a renowned Glasgow laboratory showed that the elbows of 20 random selected combat jackets were infested with 80% being described as 'gopping' or 'minging' and the other 20% being classed as 'absolutely hanging'.
Herbert Schlangemann: "it is clear to me that original advice whilst understood to be accurate, was, in retrospect, rushed and incorrect", he added "in addition to human infection, the soldiers using elbows to greet colleagues then use them to open doors, leaning on desks or mouse pads has risked both the human and technology ecosystems, as it can leap from one to the other".
Regardless, it appears that with immediate effect all British Soldiers, Sailors and Aviators, can no longer touch elbows or tap boots and must revert to salutes and a snappy "Good Morning Ma'am or Sir".
Captain Gil states "Existing empathic and authenticated heuristics use mobile modalities to deploy optimal methodologies. While similar systems improve decentralised communication, we realise this purpose without investigating cache-able configurations". His full research paper hosted on the prestigious MIT website can be viewed here: